Monday, June 22, 2015

"Be like Maryam"

"..or like Asiah, or like Khadijah, or like Fatimah. 

Be like those leaders of women in paradise. "

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم 
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Apologies for the abrupt beginning - it's like I've been bottling everything up for so long and I just needed to write. So here I am. Realised this as I was frantically searching for an empty notebook in the room I spent most of my teenage years in, and came across my old teenage diary lulz. And I realised how much I used to write, be it in diaries or in blogs. And also realised how much I do not write nowadays. So yes, here I am for that very purpose. 

To vent write.

Something's been bothering me mind lately, though it's a pretty much internal battle. Amidst all of those battle of thoughts inside of me, I heard a quranic verse, talking about 'Zakariyya' and yes, of course, you guessed it. Maryam, daughter of Imran.

So I told myself "Dear self, be like Maryam. Who needed not a husband to survive, to be one of the greatest abeedah of Allah, whom Allah has chosen amongst so many other women in the history of the world, to bear a child without a husband." 

Yes I know I may sound extreme. But the mere thought of it; that we do not live to be married off to some guy, simply. Our ultimate aim should not be to find the prince charming. No, it's bigger than that. It's bigger than ourselves. We were created for a greater purpose, and that is to serve Allah.

The same applies with all the other women I've mentioned above. Asiah, whose husband is a tyrant, claiming himself to be Lord over all. Asiah could've gotten all she wanted or more in this worldly life, as a wife to Pharaoh. The biggest palaces, the most alluring delicacies and the most extravagant jewelleries. With a mere wave of his hand, Pharaoh could get all of that and more for her beloved wife. But soon after knowing the truth from the child that she helped raise, Prophet Moses a.s., she'd leave all that, in a blink of an eye. In exchange for what? A simple house, but one that is close to her most beloved - her One True Lord. "My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise" - At-Tahreem : 11

Also, who hasn't heard of Khadijah r.a.? Where do I even begin? The one who has given birth to most of the Prophet Muhammad saw's children, the one who calmed the Prophet s.a.w when he first received his Prophethood. Who, when Rasulullah s.a.w worried that something bad was happening to him, told him "Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.”. Who gave up all her wealth and might for the spread and defence of Islam, and when that, too declined, and she was on the verge of her death, she said (something along the lines of) "I've nothing left to offer for Islam, but use my bones as swords if you may, to defend this deen" 

Allahu akbar. Sent chills up my spine the first time I read that. 

And of course, Fatimah r.a., the beloved daughter of the Prophet s.a.w, and the most beloved wife of Ali r.a. Tirelessly raised up their children without the presence of his husband (as Ali r.a. was almost always away for battles); day in and day out beaten her own bread, did all her house chores, and did all that she could in her power to please both her father and her husband. (As of course, pleasing one normally meant pleasing the other.) She went through a very simple life, regardless of the fact that she was the daughter of the Prophet s.a.w! The daughter of the leader of the city! Much like a princess, I'd say. But she was far from acting like one. Because she knows that it was not her time yet to act like a princess; she was to wait, for the eternal life, where she'd be treated like a princess; forever and always :)

Hence, with or without a husband (be it a soleh or not so soleh husband) we'd want to be that gentle hand that can shake the world; directly or indirectly. We'd want to be that nurturing soul that awakens the spirits of those around us, that soothing voice to calm the agitated souls, that abeedah who longs for the companionship of His Lord. We'd want to be, that muslimah, yang sungguh-sungguh hidup dan matinya - and everything in between; her words, her actions - hanya kerana mengharapkan mardhatillah, the Pleasure of her Lord.

Moga Allah sentiasa menunjukkan kita jalan-jalan yang lurus,
dan moga Allah sentiasa memberikan kita kekuatan
untuk melalui jalan-jalan itu.

May our best day be, that day when we face our Lord,
and He looks at us with a loving look, 
and tells us that He forgave us,
and He is pleased with us.

"(To the righteous soul will be said:) : O (you) soul, in (complete) rest and staisfaction ! Come back to your Lord - well pleased (yourself), and well-pleasing unto Him! Enter you, then, among My devotees! Indeed, enter you My Heaven!"  Al - Fajr [89: 27-30] 
Allah knows best :)
Salam alayk, fi amanillah.
Ramadhan mubarak, folks.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

After that long hiatus

Salam alaik!

Dear bloggie,

Boy oh boy am I glad to be writing in you again!

Though I haven't really much to write about now - except that, well I've missed you so! And I intend to write again inshaAllah, biiznillah :)

I am in the midst of my finals right now - I am finishing second year can you believe it? ._. And to think my last post was when I was about to receive my A-Level results.

Ala kulli hal, fret not dear bloggie, for Allah has always taken care of me, not once did He leave me out of His loving sight :')

I'll write again soon, inshaAllah.

Til then, bloggie :)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Le Results' Day

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم 
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

I know I haven't blogged in a while - since my birthday. But that's a different story. I'm here because the Edexcel board's A-Level results will be released on the 15th August, 5 days from now. And I'm so nervous I can't even.

Usual thoughts over the past few days:
"Eeeks I cannots cannots cannots believe it's 5 days from now"
"Makan tak basah, mandi tak kenyang, tidur tak lelap, Raya pun tak senang. Nasib baik ada duit raya"

A friend of mine once tweeted, and I quote "Ni baru results dunia, belum results di padang Mahsyar". Tertampar, terdiam sebentar.

And that same friend had also once tweeted, (okay kantoi stalk dia) "Bentang sejadah ready sujud syukur. Lepas tak lepas belakang cerita."

Too often in life, we make plans and we think that's the best. When something comes and ruins our plans we get frustrated, but we forget that Allah too has His plans for us.

"But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners." Al-Quran - 8:30

In these moments do we learn the true meaning of tawakkal - to put one's trust in Allah. We trust that He truly knows what's best for us and He infinitely knows better than us. Trust that He will only give us what's best for us, and what's best for us might not be what we want.

Someone once taught me to say in my du'a: "Ya Allah, ease for me so and so, if that is the best for me, if it will lead me to You, and if and only if Your redha is with it" "Ya Allah, permudahkan bagiku urusan itu, sekiranya ia baik bagiku, sekiranya ia akan mendekatkan diriku padaMu dan sekiranya redhaMu bersamanya"

So when things don't go as we hoped and prayed it to, we need to remind ourselves of that du'a. Maybe He didn't give us so and so, because it is not the best for us. Maybe it will stray us from Him - turn us into arrogant, ungrateful people who think only our mere efforts lead us to those success. And maybe, He didn't grant us our wishes because His redha is not with it. What could possibly matter more than His redha on us?

After reciting that du'a, bear in mind that whatever that Allah gives us, would be the best for us. It would lead us closer to Him, it would draw us nearer to attaining His redha, inshaAllah, biiznillah. Matlamat hidup kita bukanlah untuk ke overseas dan bermegah-megahan dengan title 'budak oversea' itu, bukan hanya untuk mendapat segulung ijazah dan mendapat kerja yang bergaji lumayan untuk hidup dengan senang-lenang, dan bukan semata-mata untuk travel dan bermusafir di negara orang, (tak salah buat semua tu, even I'd like to do them myself, cuma that's not the main objective). Tujuan hidup sebenar kita ialah sebagai abid dan sebagai khalifah. Dan inshaAllah, wherever we are destined to be, di situlah tempat terbaik bagi kita untuk melaksanakan tujuan itu.

So whatever the results turn out to be on the 15th August (and on the 13th for those who sat for the Cambridge papers), all praises be to Allah, the Lords of the Worlds. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Sujud syukur padaMu ya Allah.

And I leave you with one of my favourite hadiths:

On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said : One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me:

"..Be mindful of Allah, you will find Him before you. Get to know Allah in prosperity and He will know you in adversity. Know that what has passed you by was not going to befall you; and that what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."

"...The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried"

[Hadith #19 of An-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths]

Footnote : I'm really mostly talking to myself in this post. These reminders are mostly to remind myself and to calm myself because my nerves are really acting up, closer to the hour. Segala yang baik dari Allah, yang kurang adalah khilaf diri saya sendiri (please don't hesitate to tegur and correct me)

Allahualam, Allah knows best.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Okay I know I don't always blog about my personal life here. But I don't really feel like blogging in Mechanicalove (my old blog) because well, I just want that phase of my life to be over, y'know?

And it's okay to blog here, I guess. Firstly because it's well, my blog (..duh?) and secondly because you don't know who I am anyway :D (okay who am I kidding? Most of you are my friends anyway right -.-)

Well I decided to go down memory lane and read some of my old posts in Mechanicalove, just to see how I'd normally blog on my birthday. Well turned out I don't really blog about birthdays. Or at least my own. Ha.

Okay I know it's just ramblings here. I'm not asking you to read this, really. I just need some place to vent out my feelings. Before it happens. Before the clock strikes twelve. Before I'm officially (according to my birth certificate) a 20 year old.

Eeek. The thought sends chills up my spine. The actual end of my teenage years. It's time to really grow up.. and leave the pain of the past behind. My whole teenage life was a total roller coaster ride. It's a bit funny, come to think of it, how silly I was as a teenage girl. How naive. How, plain, nonsensical. If ever I was to tell my tale to someone, I'd roll on the floor laughing at my own self.

Though I admit, it was painful.

I mean, it's funny when I reminisce and think about it now. But it did hurt back then. Back when I did not put Allah as my Ilah, when I didn't put him as the number one in my heart, when I didn't put him as my one and only hand-hold, where I lean and obtain support from. No, instead I pursued that from His creation. From a mere mortal, who was just as imperfect as I was. How was I to find perfection, to find salvation, in something who was also imperfect, in someone who also needed someplace else to lean on?

As much as I regret the past, I wouldn't change it even if given the chance, because I know Allah had written my life story in the best way it could ever possibly be. And if the past didn't happen, if I didn't meet the people I did, I would never be the person that I am right now. & I do treasure the person that I look in the mirror, day in and day out. The person she was, the person she is and the person she will be. It's all the same person, with the same identity, only with a slightly different thinking and a clearer view on things. A clearer view on her purpose in life and where she's heading. To Allah Azza Wa Jalla inshaaAllah.

And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided [Quran 3:103]
Allahu Rabbi T.T

Alhamdulillah, the past is behind me now. Turning 20 is a big humongous gigantic step and frankly I never actually pictured myself at 20. Looking back, I probably didn't expect myself to be the person that I am right now. But come to think of it, I haven't really changed much. I'm still me. Just, with Allah in my heart, inshaaAllah. Yet I've still a lot to learn, much to improve. My journey to Allah is still a long one. Biiznillah, I will reach there one day. Ameeen Ya Rabb.

So here I am, declaring publicly and openly that I am not to grieve over my past anymore, except only as a means to get closer to Allah. I would not wish to change my past because He has decreed that it was best for me to go through that period of jahiliyyah. I will only change what I can, from here on out. Darling akhawats, especially my lovely Super Ukhtis, you be the witnesses of this (sorta?) oath of mine. And please remind me whenever my old Jahiliyyah brings me down. Remind me, that Allah loves me, as He loves all of us , inshaaAllah(:

May the next 20 years of our lives be better than the past 20 years. Allahumma ameen.

What are birthdays but a mere reminder of the approaching death?
Verily the knowledge of the Hour is with Allah (alone). It is He Who sends down rain, and He Who knows what is in the wombs. Nor does any one know what it is that he will earn on the morrow: Nor does any one know in what land he is to die. Verily with Allah is full knowledge and He is acquainted (with all things). [Quran 31:34]


Monday, March 18, 2013

The Infinite Love

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Assalamualaikum wrh (:

Hope whilst reading this you're in the Mercy and Blessings of Allah Azza wa Jalla inshaaAllah

Today I'd like to share about the beauty of love. (Ptuih love again? Dok abeh abeh) Hiks but this time it's about the greatest kind of love. The One true love. The infinite love.

His love.

To begin, let's start at the very beginning. The surah Al-Fatihah (The Opening).

Did you know, that during our solat, when we recite the Al-Fatihah, we're actually having a two-way conversation with our Lord? It's a hadith Qudsi, related by Sahih Muslim.

I'd like to highlight the fourth verse. When we say "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for help". We have yet to ask for anything, we have yet to plead for His mercy. But he had immediately replied "This is between Me and My servant, and My servant shall have what he asked for" Without any hesitance, without any doubt, just like that. Our Lord wants to give us whatever it is we want.

Imagine if we had a maid. She asked us for a raise. Or some money for shopping. More holidays. And we'd be like "Dudette, you're just a servant. Can you stop asking for so much and just do your job already?" That is far from the case with Allah the Almighty. No one loves us more than He does. Not even a mother's love for her child can compare. If and only if we'd learn to appreciate and repay this love..

But wait! If it is really true that Allah grants all our du'as and all that we pray for, how come we don't get everything we want in this life?

There's this story but I do not know the source and the authenticity of it, so pardon me for that. And if you know, please please do tell. Okay so once upon a time there was this one kind man. He had prayed and prayed and cried buckets of tears while begging Allah to grant his du'a. But time and time again his call seemed to be of no avail. His prayer seemed unanswered. But he never gave up on the Mercy of Allah [Quran 9:87] and kept on praying.

One of the Angels felt pitiful towards him so the Angel went up to meet Allah and prayed to Allah to answer the man's prayers. Allah said (and I've rephrased this. May Allah forgive me T.T) "I am about to answer his prayer, but just a little while more. I have missed him talking and crying to me the way he is right now. But I am sure to answer his prayer, just a little while more"

Remember Allah once said  "Call upon Me; I will respond to you.”  [Quran 40:60]

Have Faith in Allah. "I am as my servants think I am" [Hadith Qudsi - Bukhari and Muslim] Think of Allah as the Most Merciful, the Most Forgiving, The One who will only give you what's best for you, and at the right time. Maybe, say, if He answered our prayer to get really good grades for one major examination, maybe that time we weren't ready for it. Maybe, if He really did give us that, we'd stray even further from Him. We'd lose sight of what's real. And that would be istidraj - something given to someone to stray him further away from the truth. Have Faith that whatever it is that Allah grants us is whatever is best for us, whatever that will draw us closer to Him and His Redha.

What other proofs are there to show that Allah loves us, His servants?

"O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" [Quran 39:53]

Allah (swt) says: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” [Hadith Qudsi - Bukhari and Muslim]

"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it." [Hadith Qudsi - At-Tarmidhi]

If He didn't love us as much as He did, would we still be here right now, getting our second, third, fourth, fifth chance every waking day? Every second is another chance to repent. To seek Him. To ask for forgiveness. Every second is but a Mercy from Him.

Only by realising this truth, how much He loves us, would we be able to do everything He commands us to do, and leave everything he commands us to leave. When we love someone, we would do anything and everything to impress them, to make them happy and pleased with us and ultimately to repay their unconditional love towards us. Allah's unconditional love towards us.

For my sisters who have yet to put on the hijab, once you've realised how much Allah loves you, you would put it on, not to shut the people around you who has bugged you to put it on. Not to impress some guy. Not to follow some trend. But because and only because you want to please the One who Loves you so very much. You want to follow what the One who Loves you so very much has told you to do. Only then will you be able to wear it proud, and wear it right, the way He wanted us to wear it. Because it's a symbol that you acknowledge the fact that Allah loves you. And, you love Him too.

For my friends whom I love fillah who knows to have a relationship before marriage is wrong but deems it to be too hard to leave. One simple parable (credited to Yasmin Mogahed) would be like a kid with this super awesome toycar he sees in a shop. But his mommy won't let him have it. So he passes by the shop everyday, feeling so hurt because the toycar is so close yet so far. He wants it soo badly but he can't have it. He feels like he just wants to steal it, taking it in the haram way, telling himself that he will pay it one day and make it halal (if Allah grants him that opportunity. But if that day never comes and it remains haram?). But then his mother showed him a real Ferrari. And allowed him to play in that. Would he still think about the small toycar? Would we still think about the insignificant haram relationship when there's an even greater, infinite Love to achieve? The time will come when a different kind of love will come around biiznillah (with the one who was created for you) but this time not to compete, but to strengthen the infinite Love.

When the call for prayer comes, we don't heavily take our wudhu' and heavily pray. But we look forward to our meeting with our Lord. Our meeting with the Creator of Love Himself. And in the wee hours of the morning, it wouldn't be such a burden to wake up and pray tahajjud. Because that's when He awaits His servants the most. #NoteToSelf

When we do everything in our lives, for Allah, simply to obtain His love, His redha, simply to show Him how much we love and cherish Him, everything will be made that bit easier, inshaaAllah. Because we know everything that we do is with a purpose and throughout every step of the way, He is with us.

"..and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory (sunat) deeds so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it" [Hadith Qudsi - Bukhari]
Here's a video, a talk by Yasmin Mogahed. On the Divine Love itself. Go knock yourself out (;

This is but a reminder to myself. Because I always seem to forget that Allah loves me.
As He loves you.


P/S: Please correct me for any mistakes. Jazakallahu khair (May Allah reward you with goodness). And aseef (my apologies) for not updating the blog for a while now. Please pray for our jihad in the approaching A-Level examinations ^^

Monday, January 21, 2013

Awak cinta Allah tak? ^^

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Assalamualaikum wrh ^^

 Ingatkan nak belog dalam Bahasa today tapi tapi tapi. Okay saya terai. Hehe.

Hari ini saya mahu memperkatakan perihal (kehkeh kan dah jadi skema. Kita mix lah ye) So today I'd like to talk about an issue that's been very sensitive and personally close to myself. Hee agak berat hati sebenarnya nak menulis tapi rasanya macam perlu. Sangat sangat perlu.

About lurvee. Okay, no. About couple, to be more precise.

Don't run! Don't close the browser! Not just yet. If you're one of them couples, I don't expect you to terus clash ke apa after reading this. But I hope what I've to share will make you ponder, okies?

DISCLAIMER: By no means am I trying to offend anyone through this post, especially my ex-boyfriend. He's been nothing but a great guy to me and if to have a relationship before marriage was halal in Islam, I'd never even think about leaving him. *Muka serious* trolololz. kbai.

Oh and by no means juga am I pointing out this to anyyybody by anyyy means. What's been written here is in shaa Allah what Allah nak sampaikan. This is not from me, but from Allah. Because what I'm writing here is really mostly based on my own experiences :/

Well, let's start from the start then, shall we? Growing up, I was fed with all sorts of fairytales (Disney yay!), so like in all those movies, my life's purpose was to find my prince charming and live my rightful, well-deserved happily ever after. Noho kidding. I was so sucked into this illusion of finding true love that at such a young age, I was already a 'love expert' (or so I used to call myself. Ha)

Okay serious. 

I know a lot of people already touched on the issue, countless bloggers etc, why should you listen to me, right? Well I don't know. Maybe because I was exactly like the typical girl who couldn't live without a boyfriend. I'm not here to tell you of my old love tales, but I can assure you my relationships were the really serious and long-termed ones, the ones that people go all "Aww" and "Imagine how their babies would look like" yeah stuffs like that. I used to not be able to live a day without texting my boyfriend and once couldn't live a day without seeing him. And I couldn't imagine my life without him. Astahgfirullahalazim, astaghfirullahalazim, astaghfirullahalazim.

But I made it out! Alhamdulillah. (Though I'm still fighting, biiznillah)

I know it's totally fitrah for us to want to be loved and have someone constantly care about us, especially us girls, right? Tapi tahukah anda apa itu cinta sebenarnya? What is love? Siapakah dia Pencipta Cinta? Doesn't the Creator of Love Himself deserve our love the most, wayyy before any other? Matlamat kita di dunia, bukankah untuk menjadi abid dan khalifah kepada Sang Pencipta? Jadi bukankah kita sepatutnya melakukan segala-galanya untuk Dia? So why should it be an exception when it comes to the matter of love? Segala jenis cinta kita di dunia ini, sepatutnya kerana Allah, lillahi ta'ala. Untuk mencapai cinta yang hakiki. The real true love. Cinta yang satu. Cinta Illahi. (Peringatan untuk diri *ketuk-ketuk kepala sendiri*)

Cinta kepada Rasulullah, kerana Allah

 Say : "If you do love Allah, follow me: Allah will love you and forgive you your sins: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" [Quran 3:31]

 Cinta kepada Ibu Bapa, kerana Allah

"Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal" [Quran 31:14]

Cinta kepada sahabat, kerana Allah

The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: so make peace and reconciliation between your two (Contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that you may receive Mercy [Quran 49:10]

 & even cinta kepada pasangan hidup, kerana Allah

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect” [Quran 30:21]

Cinta itu indah. Patutkah kita meletakkan sesuatu yang indah pada sesuatu yang tidak indah, yang tidak halal? :/

"Tapi susahhhnyaaahh nak tinggalkan diaaa"
Wallahi, it's not going to be easy darlings. Sometimes it still gets hard for me. I still need constant reminders from my friends. I think it is not an exaggeration to say I tried nearly 50 times to break up with my last boyfriend before we actually managed to end the tie. It was never easy. I tried to make him hate me, tried to make myself hate him, but it was to no avail. So I set it out all clearly and simply by telling him that what we're doing isn't right, and it had to end. And so we let go. Kalau ada jodoh, ada la. Darlings you have to be strict :| and hold on to your stand :| Yang sebab 50 kali cuba tapi gagal tu sebab tak tegas lah. Dua tiga hari, lupa jihad sebenar. Gave in to my own weakness. :(

"But he reeeally loves me and I'm sure he's gonna marry me anytime soon. Soon. Ish. Like, 3-4 years?"
 D: Hoho I used to tell that to myself too. "What if there won't be anymore good guys like him nanti, if I let him go? :( What iffff??" Terlupa janji Allah yang ini..

 "Dan sesiapa yang bertawakal kepada Allah nescaya Dia (Allah) akan mencukupkannya" [Quran 64:3]

and confidentkah you guys will end up marrying each other? What if Izrail datang menjemput dahulu? Allahu Allah T.T

"Aish, kami tak main lah couple-couple ni. Tak pernah declare pun. Lagipun kami ni Islamic, kejut solat tahajjud bagai"
Lulz no comment. Ini pun ana pernah go through (Ceh ana terus) Jemput baca post Aiman Azlan atau Inche Gabbana.


Say: "Not equal are things that are bad and things that are good, even though the abundance of the bad may dazzle you; so fear Allah, O you that understand; that (So) you may prosper" [Quran 5:100]

"Tapi our parents dah tahu pun about each other, dah kenal pun. They've already given their blessings to us. Tak kan tak boleh kot?"
Bestnya parents dah kenal ^^ Hopefully kalian dah ada ikatan pertunangan yang direstui parents, and menjaga hubungan i.e. tak contact sangat, tak berjumpa melainkan dengan mahram seperti yang Hilal Asyraf buat masa time pertunangan dia tu - mereka jarang sangat contact sepanjang pertunangan mereka selama 2 tahun, time birthday je wish. Sebab dia nak simpan yang lagi sweet untuk after marriage. Halalan thoyyiba. Awww. Tapi ingat, pertunangan tak menghalalkan apa-apa (Ayat common lulz) And just because parents kita dah redha, tak semestinya Allah redha.

Allah T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T *lari masuk bilik malu tunjuk muka*

"Tapi awak, kita tak cukup kuat lah nak tinggalkan dia T.T Kita cuba ubah dia ke arah yang baik, okay kan? Moga-moga Allah redha"
T.T I used to think the same way too. Bukannya tak tahu couple tu haram, dah lama dah tahu. Masa form 2 lagi. Tapi.. tak cukup kuat nak tinggalkan. It was just too hard.. Then tersentak baca ayat ni..

"O you who believe! What is the matter with you, that, when you are asked to go forth in the Cause of Allah, you cling heavily to the earth? Do you prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Hereafter" [Quran 9:38]

Allah dah suruh berjihad, Allah dah hadirkan kesedaran dan hidayah dalam hati, tapi kita still refuse untuk menyahut seruan jihad itu. Allahu Rabbi. T.T

So let's stop saying "I can't, it hurts too much, it's too hard" and instead "I can, for Allah. Anything, for Allah. In shaa Allah, biiznillah"

"Maka untuk Tuhanmu, bersabarlah" [Quran 74:7]

For the One who loves you the most, where no one else in this world loves you more than He, sabarlah sekejap je. Sekejap je lagi ^^ Sebab Allah dah janji dah..

"Peace unto you for that you presevered in patience! Now how excellent is the final Home!" [Quran 13:24]

So ask ourselves. Cinta kita berlandaskan apa? Jika benar kita mencintai dia kerana Allah, carilah cinta Allah itu dulu. Biarkan dia juga mencari cinta yang Hakiki itu. And if it's meant to be, Allah akan mempertemukan jua dua hati yang berjuang di jalan Allah itu. Jodoh itu kan milik Allah, kita hanya bertawakkal and hope for the best (and redha! ^^). Trust Him, Allah knows what we know not (:

P/S: Tapi ingat juga yaa (ingatan untuk diri sendiri MOST OF ALL) banyak lagi perjuangan kita di medan jihad ini. Untuk membangunkan diri, membangunkan rakan-rakan, membangunkan ummah, to clear the world's perspectives on Islam, to set right what has been done wrong. So kalau rasa tak sedia lagi tu, tak payah fikir sangat lah kot. (Again, talking to myself)

Asif jiddan kalau ada apa-apa yang tersalah tulis, harap diperbetulkan.
Jazakallahu khair in advance ^^v

Sunday, January 6, 2013


بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم
In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful


Assalamualaikum wrh ^^

So, finally I iz back after a long hiatus. So sorry, the beginning of a new semester always consumes a lot of time and energy. But that shouldn't be an excuse for me to stop blogging. Anywayyy, some of you may or may not have read my previous posts Change 1.0 and Change 2.0, but no worries, I've made everything much simpler, in sha Allah (: Writing this post by no means imply that am I trying to act all holier-than-thou. These are simply the steps that I'm currently still taking in the process of still changing myself. Because I've still got a looooooooong way to go. So let's all join in this beautiful metamorphosis, shall we? :)

"To change is not to be someone else. To change is to be the best version of yourself" - Aiman Azlan

If you have read both Change 1.0 and Change 2.0, and would like to only continue where you left off, click here


If you'd like to start from the very beginning, below are the 'steps' and the summary for each cos I know sometimes I babble too much hehe. Click 'read more' for the full version ;)


First step: Realising the purpose of your life

So, what is the purpose of life? Mine used to be to find my prince charming and live happily ever after. No kidding, I used to have a nice long list of my 'Dream Guy' lulz. But that was before my epiphany, before I realised there's totally more to life than chasing a supposedly 'true love' from my supposedly 'prince charming', or getting good grades, getting a good job, getting married, having a family.. then what, right? The true answer?

"I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve(worship) Me" [Quran 51:56]

Our whole life should be an ibadah for Him, from the moment we wake up, to our class, to the cafe, and back to our bed, it should be all because of Him, because we want to find His blessings in all that we do. How? By having intention (tajdid niat) lillahi taala(:

 The second purpose,

"Behold, your Lord said to the angels: 'I will create a vicegerent(khalifah) on earth'..." [Quran 2:30]

Here's another task of ours. To be a khalifah. Which means to be a leader on this Earth. One that leads another to good and forbids another of an evil conduct. Because we wouldn't want to be living in Jannah alone, would we? We'd want to bring as many of our beloved family and friends together with us, in sha Allah :)

Read the full version?

Second step: Find friends who can help you with your change.

It's always so much easier to do something when everyone around you is doing it too, no? Once you're feeling down, there's always that support system, pulling you back up on your feet at just the right moment. So these are the friends you should be looking for. Ukhuwwah fillah is the most wondrous thing, you've only known the person for a few minutes, but that bond feels so special and strong, because it is solely because of Allah. Uhibbukunna fillah, abadan abada ♥ [Awwwww hehe]

Read the full version?

Third step: Do what has been made compulsory to you

 Never ever leave what Allah has made compulsory to us, i.e. To pray 5 times a day, to fast in the month of Ramadan, to pay zakat etc. But I'd only like to stress on the first one. Prayer. Because we all know that our prayers will be the first thing to be asked by Allah on The Day of Judgement. Always pray on time, if possible as soon as it is due. Try to be khusyuk in prayers. Try to pray in jamaah as often as possible. Hopefully when we try to do our best in the deed that Allah loves most, which is the 5 obligatory prayers, in sha Allah He will ease our transition to a better person. (:

Read the full version?

Fourth step: Own, read, practise & love the Quran (Translation)

 "Our life is just an open-book test" So read the book! The Quran is actually just a collection of love letters from our Creator, the biggest miracle that's been bestowed upon our beloved Rasulullah s.a.w. We will be rewarded by simply looking at the Al-Quran, what more if we read, try to understand and practice it in our daily lives. Honestly, nothing acts as the best antidote for me whenever my spirit or iman is in bad shape. It will always be a verse of the Quran.

So let's love our Quran :)

Read the full version?

Fifth step: Do nafl (sunat) deeds

There is this one very interesting hadith Qudsi

"My slave continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory (nafl/sunat) deeds so that I will love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant it to him" [Fath al-Baari]

What can be more beautiful and worthwhile than to be loved by Allah? :')

Sixth Step: Increase our Knowledge of the Deen
Rasulullah s.a.w said "....Verily, the eminence of an ‘Alim over a devout worshipper is that of the full moon over the stars." [Narrated by Abu Darda']
Sabda Rasulullah S.a.w: “ Seseorang yang alim itu lebih kuat pengaruhnya atas syaitan daripada seribu abid (yang tidak alim) [Hadith riwayat At-Tarmizi, ibn Majah]
This clearly means that we not only have to solely do ibadah to Allah, we need to have knowledge to go along with it too!

Read the full version?

Seventh step: Leaving our old 'jahiliyyah' 

 Everyone has their old demons. Whether or not it's still haunting us up til this day, is totally up to us to decide. There's no such thing as 'I can't help myself' or 'It simply takes over me' because we are in control of ourselvesWe decide whether or not to stop doing something. Yes, it is hard, undoubtedly so. But then again, it's worth it, I promise (in shaa Allah).

 And remember, He is the Al-Ghaffur (Most Forgiving) and the Ar-Raheem (Most Merciful) :')
'But without doubt, I am He that forgives again & again to those who repent, believe & do right & are ready to receive true guidance' - Al-Quran [20:82]
"And My mercy encompasses all things" - Al-Quran [7 : 156]
Read the full version?

Eighth step: Istiqamah

Be constant. So often we try to change but then we return to our old state. Nauzubillahminzalik.
For this we need to be constant in all that we do and be careful not to slide back to our old jahiliyyah. Remember why we wanted to change in the first place. Remember, you're never alone. Allah will help you throughout the journey, in shaa Allah :D

Read the full version? To the bottom of the post?

  Fifth step: Do nafl (sunat) deeds There is this one very interesting hadith Qudsi

"My slave continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory deeds so that I will love him. When I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him; and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant it to him" [Fath al-Baari]

What can be more beautiful and worthwhile than to be loved by Allah? :')

So what do I mean by nafl deeds? There are loads; Solat Sunat Dhuha, Solat Sunat Rawatib (before and after obligatory prayers), Solat Sunat Witir, Tahajjud etc etc. Even reading the Quran or Ma'thurat is a nafl deed. But stress not, you need not begin to do it all at once.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "The best loved deeds to Allah are the ones that are continuous(istiqamah) even if they are not very many." [Bukhari and Muslim]
Even something as simple as saying 'Bismillahirrahmanirahim' everyday before wearing your shoes, if done continuously, can bring about the love of Allah. Isn't He the sweetest? :')

But of course, nothing beats the feeling of closeness to Allah as to when we wake up in the quiet of the night only to pray to Him. And in that moment, it is only you and Him, no one else. At that moment, you can feel His love overwhelming you all over. Masya-Allah. Allahu Allah..

Here's a list my darling Akak Naqibah made for us during the holidays. [Click here] Simply a list of nafl deeds that one might consider to practice in one's everyday life, in sha Allah. May Allah ease :)

Sixth Step: Increase our Knowledge of the Deen

Rasulullah s.a.w said "....Verily, the eminence of an ‘Alim over a devout worshipper is that of the full moon over the stars." [Narrated by Abu Darda']
Sabda Rasulullah S.a.w: “ Seseorang yang alim itu lebih kuat pengaruhnya atas syaitan daripada seribu abid (yang tidak alim) [Hadith riwayat At-Tarmizi, ibn Majah]

It is better to be an 'alim (one who is with knowledge) than an 'abid (one who only does ibadah)  because with knowledge you will know the absolute truth about the religion. When someone asks you concerning your religion, you will be able to answer it in sha Allah, and at the same time you'll know the importance of doing ibadah, hence you'll attempt to do it as much as possible. Whereas an 'abid will only do ibadah as a form of mere rituals. They do not advice others, and they do not know what to answer when questions are being thrown at them regarding their Lord. They simply do ibadah, without really knowing the actual meaning  and wisdom behind it.

Hence, we should seek for as much knowledge of the deen as possible! As I'm sure you're well-informed, there are so many sources of knowledge on Islam all over the internet. For videos there's Fattabiouni, Nouman Ali Khan, Yusuf Estes, Ustaz Don, and the list goes on and on. For blogs there's Angel Pakai Gucci, Aishah Syakirah, Yasmin Mogahed etc etc. They're all very convenient, merely a mouse's click away.

But let's try to find other alternatives as well. Let's try to be present at actual discussions of knowledge. Say, at an Ustaz Azhar Idrus's talk, an Islamic Conference or simply just dropping by at a nearby mosque/surau especially during Maghrib/Isya' where they would normally have Tazkirahs. For muslimah in INTEC, do drop by Surau Akasia every night. You're sure to find something, at the very least a new friend in sha Allah(:

Because being at the actual events instead of listening to it online will (usually for me, I don't know about other people?) have a greater effect on our hearts. To be there with people who are also hoping to find Allah's blessings. To have a face-to-face and heart-to-heart discussion on Allah. To be present at an event where angels are surrounding you. That is truly amazing, an uplift of the iman, in sha Allah.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “One who treads a path in search of knowledge has his path to Paradise made easy by God…” - Riyadh us-Saleheen

Seventh step: Leaving our old 'jahiliyyah' 
Everyone has their old demons. Whether or not it's still haunting us up til this day, is totally up to us to decide. There's no such thing as 'I can't help myself' or 'It simply takes over me' because we are in control of ourselves. We decide whether or not to stop doing something. Yes, it is hard, undoubtedly so. But then again, it's worth it, I promise (in shaa Allah).

 And remember, He is the Al-Ghaffur (Most Forgiving) and the Ar-Raheem (Most Merciful) :')
'But without doubt, I am He that forgives again & again to those who repent, believe & do right & are ready to receive true guidance' - Al-Quran [20:82]
"And My mercy encompasses all things" - Al-Quran [7 : 156]
Everyone has their own jahiliyyah, hence everyone has their own jihad. Personally mine was the fact that I couldn't live without a boyfriend. I just needed someone in my life constantly. But I forgot that Allah should be enough for me, and that I shouldn't be looking for a kind of love that isn't rightfully mine yet, which isn't halal for me yet. Hah, my next post will in sha Allah be about this, cos it'll be too long if I were to explain it here mehe.

Another jihad for me was covering my aurah more properly. I started wearing the tudung when I was twelve, because a friend of my constantly reminded me to do so :) I was covering my hair, but I didn't really take into account the true definition of hijab i.e. the proper covering of our aurah. So I'll say that I started wearing the tudung when I was twelve but I've only started covering my aurah properly last year. But of course I've still much to improve, I'm still very far away from wearing a proper tudung labuh :(

So for girls, let's start with baby steps. Maybe we can first cover our feet by wearing socks, and cover our arms with handsocks. Then start wearing our tudung (normally bidang 45 right?) in such a way that it appears to be longer than it actually is. Once you've gotten used to that, there will be an urge to wear an ever labuher (forgive my lack of vocabulary) tudung. Don't worry, I freaked out too when I first started wearing a longer tudung. I was like "OhmyRabb is it too soon? Do I look weird? What will people say?" Well the trick is to just do it. Don't overthink it. Will Allah love what we'll be doing? If yes, by all means, do it. If no, leave it.

"Whoever seeks ALLAH's pleasure at the cost of men's displeasure, will win the pleasure of ALLAH and ALLAH will cause men to be pleased with him. Whoever seeks to please men at the cost of ALLAH's displeasure, will win the displeasure of ALLAH, and ALLAH will cause men to be displeased with Him." - Hadith Qudsi[Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih].

Eighth step: Istiqamah
Be constant. So often we try to change but then we return to our old state. Nauzubillahminzalik.
For this we need to be constant in all that we do and be careful not to slide back to our old jahiliyyah. Remember why we wanted to change in the first place. Remember, you're never alone. Allah itu, dekaaat sangat :)

"When My servants ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way." Al-Quran [2:186]

Let's practice this do'a. May Allah keep our hearts firmly on this path to attain His love, mercy and blessings, in shaa Allah :')

رَبَّنَا لَا تُزِغۡ قُلُوبَنَا بَعۡدَ إِذۡ هَدَيۡتَنَا وَهَبۡ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحۡمَةً‌ۚ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلۡوَهَّاب  
Rabbana la tuzigh qulubana,ba'da iz hadaitana wa hablana milladunka rahmatan,Innaka Antal wahhab.|"Our Lord! (they say), Let not our hearts deviate after you have guided us, and grant us from Yourself mercy; Indeed, You are the Bestower" Al-Quran [3:8]

"اللهم يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك" 
Allahumma, Ya Muqallibal Qulub, Thabbit qulubuna `ala deenik | O Allah, O turner of hearts! Keep our hearts steadfast on Thy religion.

So I shall end this post with a video and another Hadith Qudsi that I think relates a lot to the topic we're discussing.
If there's any khilaf in any of the Quran verses or the hadiths that I've included, please do tell(:
Jazakallahu khairan in advance ^^
And jazakallahu khairan katheeran to you for reading this. May Allah ease our way to His love in sha Allah.
Allahumma ameen :)(:

“Allah says, ‘I am just as My servant thinks I am, and I am with him if he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than them; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.’ “ [Sahih Al-Bukhâri, 9/7405 (O.P.502)].