Change 2.0

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

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Assalamualaikum wrh :)

So if the first step was to realise our purpose of existence, what are the following steps?

Second step: Find friends who can help you with your change.

This is probably one of the most crucial step. You need help for your change! Find that friend whom you know can help. If you don't already know any of your friends who can, try making new ones. Go down to the musollah one day and just mingle around. These folks, they're very friendly. They get excited when they see someone new joining them down at the musollah, which just means someone's joining them in search for one common goal; Allah's blessings :)

I know some people are shy shy cat liddat to go up to some stranger and out of the blue want to get close to them. But these kinds of people are extraordinary I tell you. They're like an entirely different breed of humans! I barely know their background and their life stories but once we've been introduced, every time we meet, they'd get all excited and friendly and hug hug. LIKE AWWW.

Sweetest kinds of bonds. Bonds because of Allah. Ukhuwwah fillah :DDDDDDD

You really need them, to answer questions you might have, to clear any doubts that might come, to give that boost when your spirits are down. Simply to be your friend in search for Him. Although it is definitely very convenient to have all your questions answered by kind Cik Gugel but nothing beats face-to-face talk about Allah. No kidding.

So don't wait for someone to invite you to Allah. Make the first move. And in sha Allah He will ease everything else :)

[But this by no means imply that you should leave your old friends. New friends are silver, but old friends are golden. Or so the old saying goes. Heh]

Third step: Do what has been made compulsory to you

And here I shall only stress on one, SOLAT. Whatever you do, never leave you solat.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah r.a that the Prophet s.a.w said:
"The first thing among their deeds for which the people will be brought to account on the Day of
Resurrection will be PRAYER" [Narrated by Abu Dawood: 864].

So regardless how much you try covering your aurah, or try to give to charity, the first thing questioned will still be your prayers.

Try to pray on time.

"Hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Masood r.a. "I asked Rasulullah s.a.w: 'What deed is most beloved by Allah?' He said 'To offer each prayer as soon as it is due' 'Then what?' 'Treating one's parents with mercy and respect' 'Then what?' 'Jihad (strunggling/fighting) for the sake of Allah'. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud added, ‘The Prophet s.a.w narrated to me these things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more.’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

So you see? To pray as soon as it is due is even more highly ranked than to do Jihad, which we all know is a very noble act and one who dies during Jihad will in sha Allah be granted Jannah. Yet, to pray as soon as it is due is even more important than that!

And most of all, try to be khusyuk. I'm still struggling with this one, but one good tip is to imagine that it is our last solat, and to imagine our corpse lying in front of us, wrapped up in white cloth. Death is just around the corner.

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Oh, try to pray in Jamaah too, as often as you can. Because only then you will see that Islam is all about Jamaah, all about uniting, and you will feel the strength of Islam during prayers. You will feel the pride of being a Muslim, biiznillah

Why is it important to pray? Because once we do what Allah loves most, in sha Allah we'll be given the strength to proceed with our next transitions :)

Fourth step: Own, read, practise & love the Quran (Translation)
Honestly, nothing acts as the best antidote for me whenever my spirit or iman is in bad shape. It will always be a verse of the Quran. Open it. Learn it. Make bookmarks on the verses that really moved you, so you can refer back to it whenever your Iman dropped. Try youtube-ing Nouman Ali Khan on QuranWeekly. His tafseer really moves me, and it will make us appreciate the words of Allah even more, as there's so much more than on the surface.

I can frankly say that my Quran is my best friend. One look at it can already lift my spirits up, alhamdulillah.

Do you know why? Because the Quran is merely a collection of love letters from your Lord, who loves you very much :)

'Then do you remember Me; I will remember you....' [Quran 2:152] (one of my favourite ayats :)

This is my favourite from Nouman Ali Khan's Quran Weekly, may this help us appreciate the Quran even more in sha Allah :)

Okay the post is getting much longer than I expected mehehe. There shall be Change 3.0 then I guess. Hold your breaths for it! So sorry, and thank you for reading this humble post (:

Allahualam

Change 1.0

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Assalamualaikum wrh :)

As I promised, Change, part I.

Change isn't overnight. We've all established that already. So maybe this rough guide might help us (yes, myself included) to go through this beautiful transition back to our fitrah, Islam (:

First step: Realising the purpose of your life

First and foremost, of course, we have to realise the purpose of our existence. Why were we born? This question first came to my mind, I remember vividly, when I was around 4-5 years old. 'Where did we come from and why were we placed on Earth?' Then I got a headache from it. I was too small to think such big things, perhaps.

But now we're big enough, no? About time we realise the truth.

My aim in life used to be: Find the right guy, fall in love, find the thing I love to do and spend my life doing it. Yeah I was pretty philosophical back then. Back then, I could've sworn I wanted to take up a minor in Philosophy during my university years. Hey I'm not dissing the subject. I still admire its ability to make people ponder and think thoroughly sometimes. I'm still somehow attracted to the subject. But I was so into it, I used to spend days writing poetry and reading literature, more than I ever tried to read and understand the Quran. I used to think philosophy had the answer to everything. I used to want to figure out the secret behind this life, the secret on being happy.

Well it's no secret. It's in our life manual.

"..Whoever submits his whole self to Allah and is a doer of good - he will get his reward with his Lord: on such shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve" [Quran 2:112]

But I didn't know, or refused to know, back then. I never used to relate religion to my heart. When I think of religion all I could think of was rules rules rules. When actually the Holy Quran itelf contained less on Syariah (Islamic rules) and more on stories of the past people. (Correct me if I'm wrong) Stories that made us think. Stories that should touch the heart.

When you're really feeling like crap and nothing felt right, try opening the Quran (Translation). Any page, any surah, any line. Have faith, and read. The verse you read will hit right at the spot, and it will heal right there and then insya-Allah. That's how beautiful this deen is. That's how much your Lord loves you.

I used to wear the hijab since I was 12, alhamdulillah, because a kind friend had persistently pujuked me to. I'll forever be indebted to her :) But I've never really covered my aurah properly, it was just a piece of cloth covering my hair. What about the rest of my body? What about my heart? I used to not care about those stuff. My best friend told me once that a mutual friend of ours discussed me and she said "*My name here* tu eventhough pakai tudung, dia bukannya alim pun. Cool je" She meant it in a nice way, of course. And I used to take pride in that. Astaghfirullahalazim. See how jahil I was? But Allah was so kind to lead me out of the darkness and into the light to realise the purpose of our existence, alhamdulillah. (And I'm sure my friends mentioned had also realised this truth, alhamdulillah)

"Cut to the chase, dude. So what's our purpose here on Earth?"
Okay chills Bills, I'm getting to that now.

"I have only created Jinns and men, that they may serve(worship) Me" [Quran 51:56]

I used to see Islam as nothing more than mere rituals. Never saw that Islam was more than a religion, it's a deen. A way of life. To worship Allah doesn't simply mean prayers alone. Everything you do, if you do it for Allah, it becomes an ibadah. For instance, in the mornings, when we wake up, say 'Alhamdulillahilladzi ahyana ba’da ma amatana wa ilaihin nusyur' (All praise be to Allah Who has caused us life after He had caused us death, and to Him is the return) and say to ourselves 'I want today to be better than tomorrow, for Allah'. Then we go get ready and niat 'I want to clean myself for Allah because Allah loves cleanliness and beauty'. We go have some breakfast and niat 'I eat to have energy to carry out the purpose of my life as Allah would want me to'. Every single thing, if we do it for Allah, it is counted as an ibadah. And that's what He meant in the Quran verse above. Every single moment should be a submission to Him. That, is our purpose in life.

But! Does that mean we should be good alone? Keep all our good intentions to ourself? Not caring and not mingling with the people around us? Nu'uh!

"Behold, your Lord said to the angels: 'I will create a vicegerent(khalifah) on earth'..." [Quran 2:30]

Here's another task of ours. To be a khalifah. Which means to be a leader on this Earth. One that leads another to good and forbids another of an evil conduct. Amar makruf nahi mungkar. That's what it means. My lovely friend always tells of a day that she calls 'Hari tarik-menarik'. The Day of the Awakening, when everyone will try to blame others for their wrongdoings on Earth. "He used to go to usrah but never invited me along!" "My sister wears a tudung labuh but she never told me to cover my hair" "I once sat with that dude in a bus for 30 whole minutes and not once did he mention about Allah!" "He should be in Hell with us too, for he did not remind us!"

Nauzubillahminzalik. May Allah protect us all :/

(Ermagahh. I iz schared)


The purpose of this life is to gain as many good deeds as we can, to gain the pleasure of our Lord. Allah had promised our deeds will be accounted for on D-Day

"O mankind! Do your duty to your Lord, and fear (the coming of) a Day when no father can avail aught for his son, nor a son avail aught for his father. Verily, the promise of Allah is true: let not then this present life deceive you, nor let the Chief Deceiver deceive you about Allah" [Quran 31:33]

Now let's hear what the 'Chief Deceiver' has to say

"And Satan will say when the matter is decided: 'It was Allah Who gave you a promise of Truth: I too promised, but I failed in my promise to you. I had no authority over you, EXCEPT TO CALL YOU BUT YOU LISTENED TO ME: then reproach not me, but reproach your own soals. I cannot listen to your cries, nor can you listen to mine. I REJECT YOUR FORMER ACT IN ASSOCIATING ME WITH ALLAH. For wrong-doers there must be a grievous Penalty" [Quran 14:22]

So whose promise do you want to hold on to now, eh?

"Don't wear that tudung yet. You're not ready yet. You have all your life to make your change. You're only going to die at an old age, still got time to repent whaat" Hmm yeah it is really up to us when we die, eh?

"Couple is haram? But you love him, and he loves you. And he's going to marry you one day, so what's wrong with that? What if you'll never find a guy as good as him? What if you won't end up with any guy at all?" Hmm yeah it is really up to us to decide our jodoh, eh?

This life is nothing but deceit.

"That which is on earth We have made but as a glittering show for the earth, in order that We may test them - as to which of them are best in conduct" [Quran 18:7]

So now we know the purpose of us here on planet Earth. Wait no more! Let's strive for His good pleasure and fulfill the promise we've made back in the heavens, in our previous life

Allah asked the spirits (that's us before we were put into our bodies) "Am I not your Lord (who cherishes and sustains you)?" They said: "Yes! We bear witness that you are!" [Quran 7:172] (Rephrased for easier understanding)

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You guys, it's time we turn back to Allah in repentance. It's time to make that change with the person in the mirror.

The following 'steps' will follow in the next posts (Change 2.0, 3.0 etc), insya-Allah :)

I've yet so much knowledge to learn, the knowledge I have with me is very shallow. Please do not hesitate to correct my faults. Jazakallahu khairan in advance :)

Allahualam.

P/S: Have a good 1/2/34! :D

I trust You, Allah

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In the name of Allah Most Compassionate, Most Merciful

Assalamualaikum wrh! I'm so super sorry for the lack of posts. I can explain in details, but I'd bore you to your deathbeds so I'll just say I had family matters. A whole month for family, alhamdulillah. Allah wanted me to take better care of my parents, probably :)

Today's post is about the commonly misunderstood concept of Tawakkal. When we say Tawakkal, it'd probably be that point in time before the exams when you've given up on studying the subject, shut the books and say 'Takpalah, tawakkal je lah' cos if you're meant to get good results, you will get it anyway, no? Well at least that's what I grew up learning, from the routine surrounding me. But what is Tawakkal, really? If you read the English translation of the Al-Quran by Abdullah Yusuf Ali, he translates tawakkaltu a'lallah as TRUST IN ALLAH.

So what does that mean?

Personally and frankly, I don't really trust people so easily (Or at least I say that to sound super sophisticated hoho) as I'm sure most people don't as well. If you had a secret that you'd take to your graves, would you simply tell a passer-by? Would you whisper it to some mate of yours who's got a reputation (and proud of it!) for being the World Famous Gossip Girl? Or shout it over to your friend in a room full of acquaintances that you've only just met?

Naw you wouldn't, at least if you're sane. You'd tell it only to your closest circle of friends, or just to that one person whom you've known all your life to have always been there for you. Just to those people you TRUST. Big life-changing matters whom only a selected few can be entrusted with. People whom you know won't betray you. People whom you know will only do what's best for you, even when it doesn't make sense sometimes.

So trust your Lord with that. 

Who on Earth would know you better than the One who created you in the first place?

"...And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him" [Quran 65:3]

But before you do that...

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One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, “Why don’t you tie down your camel?” The Bedouin answered, “I put my trust in Allah.” The Prophet then said, “Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah” 

Here's another story, one of Siti Hajar r.a. taken from the book 'The Ideal Muslimah' by Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

Prophet Ibrahim r.a. left her at the Ka'abah in Makkah, above the well of Zamzam, at a time when there were no people and no water in the place. Haajar had no one with her except her infant son Ismail. She asked Ibrahim, calmly and with no trace of panic: "Has Allah commanded you to do this, Oh Ibrahim?" Prophet Ibrahim r.a. said "Yes." Her response reflected her acceptance and optimisim: "Then He is not going to abandon us." Reported by Bukhari in Kitaab Al-Anbiya

Do you see? Her trust in Allah is so deep, that although being abandoned in the middle of nowhere with a very needy infant, in a barren land with no plants, no water, no people, let alone any shelter, she still remained calm. She trusted her Lord with all her heart, He alone was enough as a Protecter.

But did that mean she stayed there, without moving a muscle, waiting for a miracle from her Almighty Lord?

Naw! As it is known to every Muslim (insya-Allah), she ran between Mount Safa and Mount Marwa 7 times in search of water. I recently found out here that the reason she ran in the valley between the two hills was because she had left her baby Ismail on the ground at one place, and can only see him at the top of either of the hills. So she ran from one hill to another to make sure she can always keep an eye on him. Awwwwwh. Ehem. Moving on.

When her search for water was to no avail, she returned to her baby Ismail and found a spring had sprouted forth from the place where the crying baby was kicking at the sand with his feet! The very famous and miraculous Zamzam water that we still get today, alhamdulillah.

Her Lord had rewarded her for her patience and constancy, and most importantly for that trust in Him :)

Hence. I trust  my Lord with my future. I trust Him to give what's truly best for me, even though I may not be able to rationalise it the moment I get it. I trust Him to decide the right path for me.

But only after I've tied my camel properly, right and tight ;) 

Allahua'lam ^^

Wake up, pipol!

Assalamualaikum wrh :)

Before I start on today's post about change, I'd just like to ask every Muslim and Muslimah out there, please #PrayForGaza. Really, during your sujud, when you're holding up your hands in prayer, do not forget about them. Yes I'm sure you've heard of the verse: 

'The believers are but brothers...' [Quran, Al-Hujurat : 10]

So do what you'd want your brothers and sisters to do for you when you're in difficulty okay. Ya Allah, give shelter to them Ya Rabb, strenghten them, remind them always of the Jannah that awaits them for the patience and constancy on your Siratul Mustaqim.

Oh Lord of the Worlds, save our brothers and sisters.

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Such a sad story for the beginning of the new Islamic year. :(

Has it ever crossed your minds, like, how come the terrorism that happened in America, say the 9/11 which was accused to be of Muslims' faults, became such a big thing and so many efforts were then put in order to stop such terrorism from ever occurring again. But the issue of Palestin, Afghanistan, Iraq, all the Muslim countries, in which the reasons for the attacks were totally vague remained a blind spot to the United Nation? How do we change this? Yes, we must pray. Never forget to pray. But what else?

Muslims must rise! 

We must uphold the true teachings of Islam! We were once the Ustadziatul Alam (The World Order) during the Abbasiyah ruling. Only at that position will we be able to correct all the injustice happening all over the world for mankind as a whole, be it for Muslims or non-Muslims. So how do we re-attain our rightful position as the Ustadziatul Alam, you ask? Well, let's start with the man/lady in the mirror, shall we not? Start with ourselves! If there's a more vital and crucial time to make that paradigm shift, it is NOW.

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So as you can see there are many steps to reach that Ustadziatul Alam status. But we must first begin with ourselves.

Well lookie lookie the post had gotten longer than I expected. I'm prolly boring all of you to your deathbeds so I shall just continue on 'Change', the next post okie.

Allahu'alam

Take care lovelies.

Jihad against the nafs

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After an absence from the blogging world for almost 4 years, I'm back to my true favourite pastime. I thought of continuing wherever I left off in one of my old blogs but, then again, I thought, why not just start fresh? Because that's what I've been trying to do. To start over. To start anew.

You may or may not know me. Hello, assalamualaikum wrh. Peace and blessings be to you wherever you may be, whoever you may be. In my very first post I'd like to write about the reason behind the name of the blog. Jihad Al-Nafs. I'm not that good a person to deserve such a good blog name. But somehow I need it as a constant reminder of what I'm trying to do.

I had only recently changed. (Change: another topic I will blog about insya-Allah, soon) But that doesn't mean I'm all good and holy now. I've got much to improve, much to learn. If only you knew the war that's happening within, everyday without fail. The fight not to return to the state I was before this. Everyone has their own sacrifice when changing. Everyone has that one thing they have to give up in order to attain Allah's love.

"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?" [29:2]

Personally for me it was a person that I held on so dearly to. Who, at one point of my life, was (or so I thought) the only person that understood, the only person I could've counted on. Yes, I used to have a boyfriend. And I left him, for the sake of Allah, insya-Allah. It wasn't easy. That's all I can say. Leaving something your life revolved around, the person who picked you up when you were down, who took you in when everyone else shunned you. (Or so I thought) but it had always felt wrong. We always knew what we were doing wasn't right, it's not that we weren't exposed to the rules of the beautiful deen. We've tried a few times to call it off, to break it up - okay, more than a few times. Nearly 50 times maybe? - but never managed to. We always gave this one reason: 'We were not to be separated' (Sometimes I feel like smacking myself in the face for being so shallowwwww)

But being in my college and meeting amazing people that led me to realise the true beauty of this deen woke me up from a deep slumber. They exposed me to the real deen, I learnt the true meaning of being a Muslim, and of course, like every person who realised this truth, wanted more than anything to be loved by the Most Supreme. I knew this wasn't possible when I was fusing right with wrong. It just doesn't work that way.

Say: "Not equal are things that are bad and things that are good, even though the abundance of the bad may dazzle thee; so fear Allah, O ye that understand; that (so) ye may prosper." [5:100]

So I had to leave him. Easy, right? Wrong. Maybe this is just me being the drama queen that I am, not being able to cope with the smallest bit of difficulty and only concerned with the troubles that I have, not knowing what others face. Yes, probably. But leaving a person who (I think, I guess, I don't know) loved you and whom you (I guess) loved too is not something you do everyday, especially after you've acknowledged and established this fact within each other for almost three years. Sometimes when the pain is too overwhelming Satan creeps up and whispers 'Look at all the other happy couples. If you hadn't known this deen, if this tarbiyyah never reached you, you never had to leave him, you'd be just as happy as all the other couples around you'

Astaghfirullahalazim.

If given the choice, I would never undo what is done. Any day, any waking moment, I would always choose Allah and his Rasulullah over any momentary lusts of this temporary dunya. I would never trade this inexplicably beautiful feeling that I have, this love for my Creator, my Rabb, my Ilah, for anything. Because once I lose sight of what's true, once I let go of this feeling, ignore the light and guidance that's been shown to me, who knows whether or not He will show me the right path again.

“Oh Turner of Hearts, keep my heart firm on Your Deen.”

To tell you the truth, what I'm facing, this so-called unfathomably difficult jihad of mine is nothing compared to what others had to go through and would sacrifice for Allah. I know an ukhti who had 3 different guys propose her - propose okay, this isn't some random 'Hey pretty ;) Boleh kenal?' crappy text. This is the ACTUAL proposal that every girl (ehem) awaits for. But she refused it. (Now before you go all what lahh is she nutsss, read on) Why? Because she realised that she's got much responsibilities for the ummah. She's got much dakwah and much tarbiyyah to deliver. There are plenty more in dire need of guidance and she fears that on the Day of Judgement (I shall call it D-Day) our Lord will question her as to why she didn't do her job as a caliph well. Well of course after you get married, half your deen will be complete, but at this age, striving to please your husband and striving to ace in exams while at the same time striving for the ummah doesn't seem very possible. Not just yet. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be. Insya-Allah :)

As for him, well the last time we talked we didn't really leave it on good terms. But sometimes you know, you just need to do whatever in order to make that person stay away, even if it hurts, even if it's a bunch of fibs. I pray everyday, that if he isn't the right person for me, Ya Rabb, keep him away from me, and keep me away from him. Keep me out of his thoughts and him out of mine, keep us out of each other's lives, help us forget each other and extinguish whatever feelings still left inside. But if he is the best person for me, Ya Rahman, Ya Raheem, show him the right path, let him feel what I feel for You, Ya Rabb. Keep us out of touch and out of each other's lives, until one day we meet again on the road to attain Your Mercy and Your Blessings.

I trust that Allah will only give me what's best, because no one knows me better than Allah. He knows every thought that ever crossed my mind, ever good and bad deeds I do, every bad joke I ever made He's the only person who knows me inside out. And surely, surely, One who knows me that good would know what's best for me.

“…it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows (what is best for you) and you do not.” 
[2:216]

“Whoever trusts in Allah, will find Him sufficient. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose.” [65:3]

Allahua'lam :)


P/S: If any of you are scratching your head and looking at me with that quizzical look and thinking 'Duuudee what's so wrong with having a relationship anyway? So long as you don't do anything bad then okaylah!' Vell have a look at this post: Angel Pakai Gucci - Jatuh Chenta Dengan Allah Dulu, Boleh? (Fall in Love With Allah First, Can?) then you tell me if it's okay or not :3